学习啦【英语美文欣赏】 韦彦时间：2016-10-24 11:44:07我要投稿
I live in Hollywood. You may think people in such a glamorous(迷人的), fun-filled place are happier than others. If so, you have some mistaken ideas about the nature of happiness.
Many intelligent people still equate(等同) happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common. Fun is what we experience during an act. Happiness is what we experience after an act. It is a deeper, more abiding emotion.
Going to an amusement park or ball game, watching a movie or television, are fun activities that help us relax, temporarily forget our problems and maybe even laugh. But they do not bring happiness, because their positive effects end when the fun ends.
I have often thought that if Hollywood stars have a role to play, it is to teach us that happiness has nothing to do with fun. These rich, beautiful individuals have constant access to glamorous parties, fancy cars, expensive homes, everything that spells "happiness".
But in memoir after memoir, celebrities reveal the unhappiness hidden beneath all their fun: depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, broken marriages, troubled children, profound loneliness.
The way people cling to the belief that a fun-filled, pain-free life equates happiness actually diminishes their chances of ever attaining real happiness. If fun and pleasure are equated with happiness, then pain must be equated with unhappiness. But, in fact, the opposite is true: More times than not, things that lead to happiness involve some pain.
As a result, many people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of true happiness. They fear the pain inevitably brought by such things as marriage, raising children, professional achievement, religious commitment, civic or charitable work, and self-improvement.
Think about the last time you felt a negative emotion---like stress, anger, or frustration. What was going through your mind as you were going through that negativity? Was your mind cluttered with thoughts? Or was it paralyzed, unable to think?
The next time you find yourself in the middle of a very stressful time, or you feel angry or frustrated, stop. Yes, that's right, stop. Whatever you're doing, stop and sit for one minute. While you're sitting there, completely immerse yourself in the negative emotion.
Allow that emotion to consume you. Allow yourself one minute to truly feel that emotion. Don't cheat yourself here. Take the entire minute---but only one minute---to do nothing else but feel that emotion.
When the minute is over, ask yourself, "Am I wiling to keep holding on to this negative emotion as I go through the rest of the day?"
Once you've allowed yourself to be totally immersed in the emotion and really fell it, you will be surprised to find that the emotion clears rather quickly.
If you feel you need to hold on to the emotion for a little longer, that is OK. Allow yourself another minute to feel the emotion.
When you feel you've had enough of the emotion, ask yourself if you're willing to carry that negativity with you for the rest of the day. If not, take a deep breath. As you exhale(呼气), release all that negativity with your breath.
This exercise seems simple---almost too simple. But, it is very effective. By allowing that negative emotion the space to be truly felt, you are dealing with the emotion rather than stuffing it down and trying not to feel it. You are actually taking away the power of the emotion by giving it the space and attention it needs. When you immerse yourself in the emotion, and realize that it is only emotion, it loses its control. You can clear your head and proceed with your task.
Try it. Next time you're in the middle of a negative emotion, give yourself the space to feel the emotion and see what happens. Keep a piece of paper with you that says the following:
Stop. Immerse for one minute. Do I want to keep this negativity? Breath deep, exhale, release. Move on!
This will remind you of the steps to the process. Remember; take the time you need to really immerse yourself in the emotion. Then, when you feel you've felt it enough, release it---really let go of it. You will be surprised at how quickly you can move on from a negative situation and get to what you really want to do!
Three Ways To Restore A Relationship
A long term relationship is always going to have its moments of light and shade, good and bad. That is human nature, for better or for worse(不管怎样) - heck it is even included in the marriage vows. If you find that your relationship is limping along a little bit, then there are many things that you can do to give it a boost. Here are 3 ways to restore a relationship and get it back on track.
There are so many things that you can try to improve your relationship and you should not stop at 3, in fact don't stop - keep working on improving your relationship for evermore. How long it will take to improve your relationship depends on the damage that has been done and how long it has been neglected, but you can make a lot of progress very quickly.
If you really want to get your relationship on track, then harping on about past hurts and issues is not going to help it move forward. That is not to say that you should not confront issues or share your feelings - however, sometimes it is best to do this when your relationship is in a stronger place. See a counselor once you have restored some of your relationship and feel that you can talk about your feelings in a more balanced and open frame of mind.
The first thing to do is to ensure that you are spending plenty of high quality time together. Get away together if you can and if you cannot, then make sure that you are trying new things together and forming new and happy memories. Get the spark and the love back in any way that you can.
Another idea is to write a list of things that you love about your partner, things that you like about them and some of your fond memories that you have. When you have completed it, then you should share the list. Reliving some of the good times that you have had can really help to put a more positive spin on your attitudes.
The next thing to do is to make your partner feel really special. Find ways to let them know that you love them, even if you are feeling a little begrudging of it at first. Make them breakfast in bed, give them a massage, send them a nice text message throughout the day, give them unexpected compliments(恭维，道贺) or anything else nice and loving that you can think of.
If you want to make your relationship better and get over the hump making accusations, withdrawing from your partner, or trying to be the victim, the martyr or "right" is not going to help. Try out the above 3 ways to restore your relationship and get on the road to recovery.